A Bag.
A Cardigan.
A Vest.
A Long-sleeved shirt.
A Swearter shirt.
A Suspender.
A Belt.
A berms.
2 T-Shirts.
OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
If I were to stop now.
I would be having the shopping-withdrawal symptoms.
Someone please STOP ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I think I'm going crazy.
LOL.
But I'm loving it.

"Are you really happy and at ease with yourself now?"
She asked me yesterday.
A part of me wanted to give an immediate YES.
Because of you.
But then something held me from saying it.
Why does someone's happiness have to at the expense of another's misery?
Am I too blind to see?
Am I too ignorant to notice?
Am I too selfish to care?
I'm sorry.
But whatever it is.
I can't let this go.
It is too important to me.
Because this is the first time I've felt this way.
And It felt so good.
I don't want to let it go.

Braddel Height Competition.
Goodluck to Addictors and In Da House.
To my partner Bec.
To the nipple-pincher XuanFeng.
To "the I don't have Ba-Bin" YuXin.
To the super tall and irritating ChienYen.
To the loving couple, Ken and JJ.
To the ho-ho-ho Glen.
To the straight-haired yet extremely gay Terence.
To the ball-haired lamb Clement.
To the super old Alex.
To the gubai BigJon.
To the he.he.he.he and cold AhChao.
To the Xiao-Zhu crazy Xiang.
To the always song yet act Britney Yvonne.
All the best.
Love all of you.
=)

Wohoo.
For the first time Blogger Beta is working for me.
So that's good.
Hope this will remain as of now.
IF NOT...
BLOGGER BETA DIEEEEE!!!!!
=)

I want to thank everyone for the presents.
Appreciate it.
Although this year, I didn't really get anything for anyone.
Just wanna let u guys know that I love all of you.
hehe.
It's just really abit rushed.
And I really have no idea what to get.
I did walk around in town for like freaking SIX hours to search.
ALONE!!! =(
So once again, thank you for the presents.
You guys know who you are.
And Terence, I love the card you made.
Come on. Don't get jealous now.
I love every single present, big or small, from all of you.
So thanks.
Love all of you.
Present for everyone:

ME!!! hehe....

Sometimes life likes to play trick on us.
When you want something and you tried so hard to get it.
You don't usually get it.
Because reality sucks.
But when you don't expect it.
Unexpected always happens.
I used to care so much and think so much about LIFE.
Which then makes me forget about living life itself.
Having the constant fear of life.
Having the constant reminder of how life sucks.
Having the constant memory of how I was last time that would affect my future.
All of those makes living life such a burden.
Such a chore.
That simply put you off and makes you having all these negative thoughts.
Negative thoughts about life.
But liked I've said earlier,
unexpected happens.
And I thank you for that.
With the promise that "I'll light a special candle to honour the bond we share".
You give me a reason to believe in life and living it.
Like I've said countless of times.
I just can't express in words how much you mean to me.
And I hope there's more of us to go.

It's almost the end of the year.
2007 is coming.
And it's time to apologize for everything and anything that I've done.
Things that I've done that might have caused some harm and damage.
Especially to you.
We're so close, yet so far away.
I promise that I will talk to you.
Let me find the courage to.
Thank you for being someone who means alot to me.
=)

Btw.
It feels good dancing again.
Although I totally suck today.
In fact, I think maybe it's not only today that I suck.
But doesn't matter.
Today, I totally suck!
Omg!!!!! LOL....
So I'll stop complaining.
And go practice now.
See ya peeps.
=)

Damn. Finally. I can get onto my blog.
For the second time.
Since this blogger beta shyt!
Anyway.
MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Hope all of you are having a great christmas this year.
=)

So.
I was back in Singapore on Saturday night.
I'm glad to be back.
The trip back to Indonesia has always been the same.
So this one was no exception.
I'm happy to see my mum is doing okay.
She's making herself occupied with things she loves.
I'm happy to see my dad is fine too.
I'm just glad to see how different he is as a granddad.
Make me wish I would have my granddad back.
But i still love him as my dad.
So it doesn't quite matter now.
Lol.
I'm happy that my eldest sister and her husband are doing great as well.
Their daughter is a cutie.
Family.
As much as I'm always the outsider.
I know that they love me.
And I will love them back as much as I could.
=)

One of my friends once told me.
"Just live you life to the fullest.
Don't bother about things that make you unhappy.
Focus on things that you are happy about."
But exactly how could we achieve that?
From the day she told me that.
I have tried so hard to do exactly what she said.
And It's been 5 years.
Yet.
For the past 5 years.
I have lived my life in ways that I thought would be best for me.
Basing on how I turned out to be today.
I guess what I thought was best for me isn't what I hope I would be.

It's 6AM.
I could have gone to bed and try to sleep.
I know I probably would have fallen asleep in 15mins.
I have no idea why.
But I choose not to.
I choose to be in front of my laptop doing absolutely nothing.
But no worries.
I'm not going back to who I was.
Because I've passed that.
I won't ever go back there again.
I don't want to.
I hope I won't have to.

I can't express in words how much you mean to me.

FINALLY!
I can get into my blog!!! YAY!!!!
Ever since I changed my blog account into beta version.
I haven't been able to log into my account.
Which is why I haven't been updating for so friggin' long.
Stupid Blogger Beta!!!!
I hope I could log into my blog successfully from now onwards.
If not!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Blogger Beta will PAY for all the damages that I'll incur....

Anyway, I'm going back to Indonesia later at 8am in the morning.
So if you suddenly think I dropped off the face of the earth.
Don't panic.
I'm safe and sound back in Medan.
I'll be back on the 23rd December.
Which means you guys still have the chance to party with me during Christmas.
So be happy.
I'm gonna miss all of you guys.
I know you guys would miss me too.
Cya'll SOON!!!!
=)

Most of time.
I've always been a little ignorant about my own life.
Simply because the world is so much bigger than me.
And I would hate myself totally to not see the bigger issues in life.
I don't aim to be president, politician or any other big shots.
But I do wish in my own little world: family, friends, etc.
To go through life as smoothly as it possibly could.
We always complain when things are not the way we wanted.
We always complain when things go wrong.
Yet we rarely stop and question ourselves:
Who causes all of these to happen?
I've gone through all the different phases in my life to realize.
Life's so much more than me.
And I realize if I were to ignore the little me now and then.
And focus on the bigger picture.
I would be so much happier.
And I 'm starting to believe in things that I normally don't.
With that, I've been leading a life that I had always wanted.
Yet I never thought I could.
Am I satisfied with my progress as a human being?
Yes. I am.
But should I be over-satisfied with it?
No. I won't.
Simply because life's so much more than me.
And there are so much more than I could get out of it.
And I'm beginning to see all these possibilities.
And I'm happy.

It's been almost a month.
It's definitely the best month I have ever had in my entire life.
It seriously is.
Although sometimes, there are bumps here and there.
But what matters the most is that I trust you enough to not doubt you.
I'm comfortable with you enough to not question you.
And also because I understand you enough that if there's anything,
You would tell me.
I really hope you would.
Although it's been a great month.
I just hope we could grow and realize the decision that we have made.
I would not regret this.
All I'm hoping for is to slowly get into you mind, body and soul.
To understand you as much as i could.
To realize how important you are to me.
And how I don't want ANYTHING ELSE to screw us up.

Long entry.
But I haven't been blogging for so long.
So you guys would look pass that right?
Lol.
Anyway.
To everybody else whom I have unfinished business with.
Hook me up when I'm back.
=)

Flu.
Headache.
Cough.
Fever.
Uncomfortable Stomach.
Every single sickness is coming to me.
Grrrr....
I totally hate it.
I hope I'll get well soon.
=)

Anyway, I just got pics from ShaoMin.
And Lissa.
So I'll be posting some up soon.
Waiting for Alex's.
=)

Nothing much to update.
But you know I'm thinking of you.
Yes, YOU!
=)

Will update again soon.
With pictures. hehe
=)

2nd December 2006.
Von's birthday.
The second time that I've celebrated for her.
I guess that means that I've known her for 2 years. :P
I seriously have no idea what to say.
But it's been a great 2 years knowing you.
No regrets. Whatsoever.
Although sometimes I just wish you wouldn't act Britney all the time.
Lol. But as your friend, I've come to accept that.
You know it would be a LONG entry if I were to talk about us.
So I'll keep that between us.
And just wanna wish you a great year ahead. =)
And thanks for everything that you've done or said.
And things that you haven't done or said.
No matter.
Stay happy. =)

My life is so perfect now that I think I'm actually in my dreamland.
If I am, please don't wake me up.
But I know I'm not. This is the reality.
The reality that I used to doubt so much.
Has come to me so clearly that I'm actually taking some time to absorb.
But I'm able to see things clearer than I thought I would.
And I've come to accept so many things.
Up to the point that it confuses me for trying to figure out who I am.
But No. I don't care who I am right now.
I don't care about alot of things right now.
Because I've never been this satisfied with my life in years.
So I would stop thinking.
But just cherishing this moment.
With you.
That's all I care about.
That's all I wanna do.
That's my life right now.
I'm happy.
Like I said I am.
But I'm still your emo-boy.
The happy emo-boy.
Not the old whiny emo-boy that complains about everything and anything.
I enjoyed every single second spent with you.
I really do.
And you know that I do.

To everyone else.
I am still who I am.
But I've come to accept things that I thought I wouldn't.
And I've come to a place that I'm actually comfortable being who I am.
I love all of you.
=)

Dancing.
I've danced for almost 2 years now.
It's been something that I've enjoyed so much.
It's been fun.
I've learnt tons.
I've met tons of amazing people.
I've gained tons of experiences.
I've grown so much as a person and as a dancer.
I'm glad for all the opportunities that I got.
As far as I'm concerned, I'm still looking for fun in dance.
F-U-N.
And nothing else.