It's common knowledge.
When you gain some, you lose some.
There's no one position where you could keep gaining.
Simply because the capacity of the human intake is limited.
No matter how talented/gifted/extraordinary one can be.
Only by letting go some, then you can gain others.
Therefore, there's nothing really to regret.
I may have lost a certain part of the past that I've been so used to.
That I've been so comfortable with.
That I've come to love so much.
It's quite disheartening when I think about it.
Yet, everyone needs to move on.
And moving on is something that I have to look at it.
By looking pass the past.
It's sad to just witness by the sideline.
But I'm fortunate enough to be able to gain something in return as well.
Experience and Exposure beyond my wildest dream.

I miss everyone.

^Love ya, Su!!!!!! =)


^Yew. Me. Mia. I feel like a big bully who is enjoying myself torturing those two. LOL. =)


^My only 3 freshies I got to work with. Yew.Chin.Mia. Awesome job guys! =)


^Me & QH! =)


^Vicks. HTILY Partner! Love all the laughters. =)


^Mia.Mae.Yew.JiaJun.XT.Ivan. I looked like a bloated lobster in all. Damnit. Damnit. =(


^My true blue batch! Batch of 2005!!!!! I'm one of them. Lol. =)

Lastly.


^Me and Ann. She forced me to edit these pictures. Lol. Love ya Ann. Thanks for everything. Love.

I know there are still tons of pictures of me still somewhere.
But I know I can never get them.
So I'm happy with these few I have.
So if u read this, send me my pictures. Lol.
Love ya guys.
Missing all of you already.

Beginning to see the dim light from the extreme end of the tunnel.
Hopefully it will grow brighter.
=)

There are times when you don't feel good.
Yet you simply can't pin down what you don't feel good about.
There are tons of things that came to mind.
That worries me.
Tried to let it all go.
To put it all aside.
And just focus on the present.
It's easier said than done.
But I'm making the effort to.
Hopefully, pain wouldn't be an option.

It's killing me to know that you would never know.
It's killing me to know that I wouldn't get anything out of this.
It's killing me to know that pain will be on its way if this continues.
But I can't help it.
When it comes, it comes.
And as much as I hate it when it comes.
But these are those little memories that will be carried with me throughout my entire life.
And I believe you're special enough for me to do so.
But I need to let it go. Soon.

First day of work was more eventful that I thought it would be.
I just hope I can balance both sides.
Hoping for the best.
Keeping my faith up......

Finally, pulling both sides of my lips.
And smile.... =)

Yep. Fantazia is over.
It happened so quickly that we don't really have much time to reflect on it.
Is it the best we could have given? I'm sure it is.
But could it have been better? I'm sure it could be as well.
But nevertheless, it's always such a happy moment to see the club comes together.
Staying strong. Enjoying little moments together and move forward.
NRA has been and will always be my first love.
Nothing could take away the magic it has inflicted in my life.

It was a great opportunity to be given the chance to choreograph.
And I'm just extemely grateful for everyone who has been a part of my items.
I may not be the most creative choreogapher.
I may not be the best and most patient 'teacher'.
I may scream at times. I think I need some anger management courses as well.
But seeing all of you pushing through, it makes my experience as a 'choreographer' or 'instructor' so much more meaningful and enriching.
I thank you for taking in all the shyts I've given you guys.
And the lessons I learnt from all of you are so much more than I could have ever imagined.
So from the bottom of my heart, thank you. =)

To Ann:
Thanks. Million Thanks.
What would I have become without your guidance?
The endless encouragement.
The constant push.
The care, concern and love.
You are the best thing that have ever happened to me.
And being able to see you dance live again.
IS AWESOME.
Thanks.

To Ryan:
Thank you for those simple words of encouragement.
And reassurance.
It means more than anyone could have ever imagined.

To WQ/Jaei/Allegra/Steffie/StephTan/Vicks:
Partnering me will forever have little mishaps here and there.
So thank you for being patient and so very brave. =)
It's been awesome dancing with you guys up close.
Thanks. =)

To Su/Von/JJ:
Thank you for putting sense in me always.
Thank you for constantly showering me with much concern when I needed most.
Thank you for everything.

To Daph:
I still have that little book of ours.
Sorry for not being a better friend when you needed me to.
Enjoy your trip.
And I promise we'll have time for more. =)

To my Helena people:
Thank you for enduring me.
Thank you for executing what I wanted to the best of your ability.
Sorry for all the backpains, sores, and bruises.
Thank you for putting in the effort for this.
Little shout out for you Yewwwwwww Seng!!!
and MiaTeck. =)
Thanks.

To Can We Chill people:
Lucky I have you guys in the item.
Cos I know you all well enough.
So keep having last minute changes.
But thanks.

To my Showcase people:
All of 28 of you... GOOD JOB!
I'm actually pretty satisfied with the final outcome.
I'm happy that you guys put it the best effort.
For those who cared enough to approach me.
Thanks cos it makes me grow even further with your countless questions.
=)

To all of those who have shown much concern:
THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

To NRA:
ALL OF YOU!!!!!
Great job.
LIke I said before, we have never failed as a team.
And basing on this, we will NEVER!
=)

So the past few months of hardwork has come to a pitstop.
And most people would be a little lost and wondering what's next.
But sometimes being patient could lead you to places you could never have ever thought of.
There are tons of opportunities out there for you to grab or coming your way.
Just open your eyes and be ready to grab it.
I'll forever be an NRA member.
Nothing could take that away from me.
Have faith...

Someone shoot me or pop some pills in my mouth. I have been having such a hard time trying to get my ass on my bed and my eyes close, it's making me doubt my humanity. Maybe I'm not as human as I always thought I was afterall. Damnit. I'm hating these late nights lately, mainly because I've been dancing non-stop for the past few weeks, my body's more worn out than ever. Also, late nights could only lead to thousand of thoughts running through my head and it's not something that I could comprehend right now.

Our mind works in such a mysterious way, it's hard to imagine what could catalyst all of our words, actions, etc. So many random images of the past came to mind. Those times of silliness, goofiness, childishness that I once so tryingly embodied, which have sadly dissipated. The chastity, the purity, the gullibility, the simplicity, the candidness, the innocence of those younger times seem to be clouded by the "mystery" and the preplexity of adolescence to adulthood. We don't stop and think through it, simply because it's a cycle. A life cycle. A cycle that everyone and anyone in this world will go through one way or another. And it's something that we mostly overlooked. Such tragic human flaw. Or maybe it's just me. I miss those times we talked about anything and everything under the moonlight at the playground. I miss those times of goofiness, silliness, food hunting, encouraging smses, encouranging actions, words, emotions and countless of talks at random places like Esplanade, Changi Airport, etc. I miss... But at least I've been through all of those happy times. And I'm satisfied. As they will forever be engraved in my heart, mind, body and soul.

As of now, Fantazia is ONE DAY away. It will be a success because we have never ever failed as a team before and will NEVER. And I know I'm gonna miss it very soon. =(

There goes my empty promises of sleeping early. Well, maybe it's the green tea that Ore insisted. Maybe. But who knows. I'm still up as always. And it's always this time of the day/night that thoughts and emotions ran through this little head of mine. Read through all the write-ups of all the choreographers that Peggy sent me. I feel at awe to know all of them, to dance alongside them, to have been a part of this amazingly talented people for the past 3 years. Everyone has their own agenda. Everyone has their own unique style and quality. Simply put, everyone is so different but that makes everything so much more interesting. Dance is something that came to me from nowhere and I'm not letting it go anytime soon. Not when I'm still in control of everything about myself. No matter what we've become. No matter how situations affect other situations. It is that sense of hope from everyone else for everyone else that makes it all worthwhile to put everything into it. For me at least. =)

Sadness is the emotion that lingers the most, much more than any of the others and certainly longer than happiness. It stays with people longer, it's more provocative. It lifts your spirit in a strange way because it inspires you to think about your existence.

Which would you rather choose?

So it's Dolly Parton Week. I do listen to country music, the more recent artistes that is. I know of Dolly Parton obviously, but her music isn't neccessarily my cup of tea. But I thoroughly enjoyed this week, which is not surprising because country music has been growing on me ever since. Generally, the girls disappoint but the guys are pretty impressive. So here we go:

9. Ramiele Malubay - This is horrendous with capital H. I don't see how the judges could be so kind to her. Maybe because she's cute. Maybe because she's young. I don't get it. As of now, she is the weakest link of the group and not Kristy Lee. BOTTOM 3. (I want her out too)

8. Brooke White - How my favorite could have fallen so low. I think she did pretty good, but her voice was mediocre. Her voice sounded harsh, nasal and she didn't even sound consistent. Her worst peformance by a mile. Disappointed. POSSIBLE BOTTOM 3.

7. Kristy Lee Cook - This is her wheelhouse like the judges said. But I still don't think she's a great performer. She sounded fine, but not impressive at all. BOTTOM 3, but safe though.

6. Jason Castro - Jason Castro sang one of the few songs that I knew from Ms. Parton. But he doesn't impress this week, which is pretty disappointing. He sounded so soft, which showed the weakness of his vocal. POSSIBLE BOTTOM 3.

5. Carly Smithson - She always sounds great, but sounding great doesn't equal to an amazing performance which Carly has proven again and again. I think she's amazing vocally, but I don't think this season is for big voices like her and Syesha, so it's really quite sad for the both of them. She would be of much a frontrunner in the previous seasons. I think she's safe but SHAKY.

4. David Cook - I think he sounded great. The song doesn't sound country at all which could be a good or a bad thing. I have nothing much to say about his performance actually because he's as good as usual but not as fantastic as he could be. SAFE.

3. Syesha Mercado - She sounded unbelievably strong. Yes, I agree that noone could top Whitney's vocals on this song, but Syesha has an amazing set of vocal regardless if she paled in comparison to Whitney. I wished Syesha didn't do this song, but I'm mad at the judges critiquing her not basing on her performance, but basing it on her the difficulty of the song. It's ridiculous when horrendously sounding Ramiele or even Kristy got better reviews from the judges than her. I LOVE this, but she's definitely on SHAKY ground.

2. David Archuleta - He sounded AWESOME. The way he connects to the song and how he delivers it with the softness, sincerity and the soothing tone to his voice was amazing. I think he definitely has an amazing vocal to be an amazingly talented singer, but how relevant is he in today's music industry. I don't know. But I still think great things could come out of him besides winning the Idol which I think he has a great chance to be. EXTREMELY SAFE.

1. Michael Johns - FINALLY, Michael Johns impresses. This is one of the best performances ever by him. He sounded awesome, and who would know he has such a nice falsetto. He sounded ridiculously soulful and amazing and awesome. Having the pimp spot and churned out one of the best performances of the night, I think he's EXTREMELY SAFE.


So basically less than 2 weeks.
We have to face the audience.
And danced on the stage that we have shined on 2 years ago.
I wish everyone the best.
Those with injuries.
Those with tons of items.
Work hard. Practice Hard.
Stay focus for the next few days.
Keep practicing.
Practice and practice and practice.
And remember to have fun as well.
=)