It seems like yesterday when I was eagerly hoping,
that Heath Ledger would walk up that stage,
and receive that golden man for his portrayal of Ennis Del Mar,
for "Brokeback Mountain".
And when "The Dark Knight" was first announced and his performance raved,
I was eagerly anticipating to be in that situation once again,
hoping and wishing that he would walk up that stage,
and recieve that much deserved golden man.
And he did win it. Yet....

R.I.P Heath.
Your movies will live on.
"The Dark Knight". "Brokeback Mountain". "I'm Not There".
"Candy". "Lords of Dogtown". "Monster's Ball".
"The Patriot". "The Brothers Grimm". "A Knight's Tale".
"Ned Kelly". "Casanova". "10 Things I Hate About You".

"Dancing is such a freedom,
You can express emotion if you want,
You can just go for exercise.
And go to have fun with all your friends.
But for me, it was just a way of life at that point.
I just love dancing so much that that's all I wanted to do."
- Tucker Barkley



For all the younglings out there who love to dance.
Work extremely hard now. =)
I'm sad I'm old. LOL.
Still didn't stop me from trying hard....
Cheers....

Dance is extremely therapeutic.
Yes, I've had my fair shares of mind block.
I've had my fair shares of complains, whinings, injuries and blah blah.
At the end of the day, I'm just happy to be able to dance.
Be it dancing with people whom I care about.
Be it dancing with people whom I don't quite know yet love dance all the same.
Be it choreographing for classes.
Classes been extremely fun most of the times. So yay.
Only when I'm extremely tired and kinda zoned out.
Still, pretty fun.
There are many people out there who love to dance.
Or so they thought.
No matter what your level of passion is.
Just keep in mind that dancing is NEVER about achieving something.
It's NEVER about proving something.
Being noticed. Being the best.
It's always about self discovery.
It's always about appreciation.
It's always about enjoying the thing that you love to do the most.
Of course there are times when I don't feel like dancing.
Well unless I'm a robot, which I am NOT. =)
But that doesn't take anything away from it.
I love watching people dance.
And grow and improve and have their own set of thinking.
Discovering themselves instead of following a pattern.
I appreciate all kind of people who loves a certain style.
Who wants to try out lots of other styles and blah blah.
At the end of the day, it's not about the styles that you love.
Or the styles that you think you want to be.
It's always about what makes you happy.
And that should always be at the back of any dancers' mind.

In a situation like this,
I'm glad I have dance to keep me sane.
And hopefully it can do the same for years to come.
Because I seriously don't think I could manage such agony if it were to ever repeat again and again in my life.
But I'm glad. Not happy happy.
But relieved all the same.
So keep dancing.

Just when I let go of things that I know won't come...
Just when I let go of things that I know don't exist...
Just when I let go of things that I know won't work to my benefit...
Hope came....
A bright shining light at the end of the long struggling tunnel...
The tunnel that have been digged over and over again...
With anger, sorrow, frustration, blood, sweat, tears,...
Then it all comes tumbling down...
Not by choices...
Not by decisions...
Not by mentality...
Simply because of pre-conception and -notion of make-believes...
It's heartbreaking...
It's sad...
It's worthless...
Yet it hurts all the same...
Yet it pierces deep all the same...
Yet it kills all the same...
Kills the already dying heart...
Kills the already harden heart...
Kills the already frozen heart...
It burns...

Hope is bullshit...
Without hope, life goes on...
With hope, life goes on but with tons of worries...
This is not about you...
This is not about me...
This is not about us...
This is not about them...
This is not about anyone at all...
There's no me, you, us, they to point the fingers on...
I'm dead...
A mere human being of no importance...
Soul-less.
Not because of you...
Not because of me...
Not because of us...
Not because of them...
Not because of anyone at all...
Just Crushed...